Bidet Strength

i’d like to thank @wirecutter for this article about if bidets are healthy, for this paragraph and especially for this pull quote (C.W. buttholes) — the coldstone marbletop cream directory (@markpopham) December 7, 2017

Love For America

This is not about “love for America.” But if it were? I’d say this: John McCain loved America. John Lewis loves America. Barry Goldwater and George McGovern loved America. Madeleine Albright and Condoleezza Rice love America. Donald Trump doesn’t love America. He loves himself. — Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) July 15, 2019

Three Stages of Career Development

The three stages of career development: 1. I can’t wait until I’m important enough to be included in meetings. 2. I feel so important being in these meetings! 3. I will do anything legal and several illegal things to avoid these meetings. — Michael Carusi (@MichaelCarusi) July 11, 2019

Cabinet Departures

Acosta becomes the 13th Cabinet member to depart the Trump administration. By this time in the Obama admin, none had left. In the George W. Bush admin at this point, one had departed. — Kate Bennett (@KateBennett_DC) July 12, 2019

Bitcoin Basis

all these people in my mentions being like “i buy everything with bitcoin,” how do you track your basis and report your gains to the IRS? — Matt Levine (@matt_levine) July 1, 2019

Tech Buzzwords Explained

Tech buzzwords explained: AI- bunch of IF statements Blockchain- database Cloud- Somebody else’s computer IoT- Internet of Toasters Big data: Slightly too tedious for MS Excel. Data science: MS Access. Algorithm: Probably something about terrorists. — Pranay Pathole (@PPathole) June 26, 2019

Jump, Kitty

Can everybody just Please look at this cat — danee, goddess of dinosaurs 🦖 (@itsdaneesaur) July 3, 2019

Final Statements

Chuck Todd: Candidates, you have 45 seconds for a final statement. Biden: I’m way better than Trump. Bernie: We need change! Kamala Harris: I actually understand how to do the job and am brave enough to do it. Marianne Williamson: I am the three-eyed raven. — Susan Arendt (@SusanArendt) June 28, 2019