Apocalypse Phone Tree

Thank you for your interest in wiping out half of humanity. We are experiencing a high volume of apocalypse right now. Your apocalypse is very important to us. The next available group of self-identified experts with no experience in the field will be with you shortly. https://t.co/OhgU49X7tJ — Rebecca Metz (@TheRebeccaMetz) June 1, 2020

Also Shareholders Though

If a cruise ship company runs cruises on which people get infected with a deadly disease and then spread it further when they get off the ship, that could be bad for its passengers and bad for the world. Also shareholders though. Matt Levine, Money Stuff, 1 June 2020

Political Lies and Business Lies

From MoneyStuff today: One point that I often make about the U.S. legal system is that lying about financial matters is quite broadly and severely criminalized—basically any sort of dishonesty having anything to do with money is arguably wire fraud—but lying about politics is common, legal, and frankly encouraged. If you sell knickknacks on the internet and […]

Van Life

It’s great to see Lindsey Graham embracing the van life. Living in a van, down by the river. 😂 “Showers. At least for me, that’s been the big thing, like they’re nonexistent in my life right now,” says Lindsey Graham who lives in a van…

A Golden Calf

Nobody tell the Evangelicals that as soon as they made a godless, lying, lawless, womanizing conman their messiah, a plague showed up. — Spiro Agnew’s Ghost (@SpiroAgnewGhost) April 12, 2020

Butt-ID

Forget Face ID. This is the future, especially considering that we’re all now forced to wear masks. In other news Stanford has made a toilet that identifies you based on your butthole https://t.co/JKSuLk4lD7 pic.twitter.com/RHbMa59ZPO — quaranbean (@christapeterso) April 6, 2020