I’m Your Child’s New Interlocking Block System and I’m Incompatible With Every Other Block They Own

From McSweeney’s:

Congratulations, parents. I have come into your home as a birthday/Christmas/Daddy-hasn’t-been-around-in-a-while present. Consider it a blessing. I am your child’s newest interlocking block system, and I am not compatible with any other blocks they own.

[…]

There are certain things one must know when owning me. My pieces only fit into each other from odd angles, limiting what you can make. Playing with me is not very enjoyable, but more of a privilege. I am the only block system to simultaneously nourish your child’s creativity and provide them constant frustration. Such is the cost of excellence. I can teach them more about life than you ever could, despite being an inanimate block system.

Relevant and related, XKCD 927: