It’s Over, He Lost

From McSweeney’s:

There’s no conspiracy.

It’s all been thoroughly debunked.

Debunked: Hackers are not breaking into voting systems and switching votes. (Dominion? Not a Venezuelan company, by the way.)

Debunked: Antifa militants are not pulling up in trucks to polling places in the dead of night and unloading boxes of fake ballots.

Debunked: They did not find 10,000 Trump ballots in a ditch.

Those people they caught on video writing up phony ballots, were not writing up phony ballots. The guy they caught on video burning Trump ballots, was burning blank sample ballots.

The dead guys who voted? Not dead.

The 119-year-old woman who voted? Turns out she wasn’t 119.

The flood of votes in Pennsylvania that arrived after Election Day? They don’t matter. It wasn’t a flood, it was a trickle. Not nearly enough to change the results.

Yes, Georgia found two thousand-whatever uncounted ballots on a memory card. They were counted. The gap narrowed. Trump gained! Guess what? He still lost.

Leave a comment

Leave a Reply